Five (Pretty Much) Surefire Stress Relievers

Stress kills nearly 17 billion people each year. Okay, I made that up. But according to me, 46% of fabricated statistics are 34% accurate, so I can’t be that far off.

Regardless of the numbers, people get stressed. Between work, kids, finances, exercise, groceries, spouse, church, reading, and those stupid commercial breaks just when we are about to find out what exactly was in that safe tucked behind those huge boxes in the back of that storage locker, life is full of stress. I thought I would take a moment and offer some tips on how to reduce some of that in your life. Here’s a few ways:

• Visit a deaf relative– You need to get out some frustration and feel better about yourself? Visit that old aunt who has the television volume so loud you can hear it from the driveway. Nothing reduces stress like yelling. Scream and shout until you are blue in the face. She’ll just be glad someone is finally speaking to where she can hear them. Exhaust yourself and spend some time with family. You’ll both feel better at the end of the day.
  
• Go to a full parking lot-One way to relieve frustration is by passing it along to someone else. Go to a full parking lot, find a great open space, then pull on in. After you’ve sat there for a few minutes put your car in reverse and keep your foot on the brake. See how long the next car will wait before they figure out you’re not going anywhere. Funny every time. Just remember to stay in your car….
• Watch hoarders-Do you feel like you’ve just got too much going on and getting close to falling apart? Well you haven’t yet, so why not check out the people that have. Whether it’s  A&E’s Hoarders or Buried Alive on TLC, these people are crazy. Nothing will make you feel better about yourself than watching these folks. You may be getting close to the edge, but until you find dead animals under piles of boxes in your living room you’re doing fine.
• Go “Office Space”-One of the most iconic cinematic moments of our time. Worthy of several Academy Awards and looked over by them all. Leave it to Peter Gibbons, Michael Bolton, and Samir Naga-naga-naga-notgonnaworkhereanymore to fulfill the fantasy of generations of cubical farmers. When you’re stressed out, do the same. Head to a local thrift store and pick up some used office hardware. Find an open area and let it rip.
  

  I found this at a thrift store for $4.99

• Turn it upside-down– So you’re still stressed to the max and none of the other tips worked. There’s one final thing you can do that will surely get rid of it all. Do something nice. Bring home flowers to your wife. Bring home chocolates to your husband. Better yet, do something for someone you don’t know and never will. The classic is buying the meal for the person behind you in the fast food line. I did it yesterday for the couple behind me. I’m sure they had no idea and hopefully the didn’t catch me sneaking a picture of their car. I drove away happy knowing for just a few dollars I might have made someone’s day a little better. Frown turns to smile. Stress instantly dissolved.
  

  “Is that creeper taking a picture of our van?”-I sure am!

So that’s it. Take these tips and use them as you see fit. If you tick anyone off with the first four, tell them you read them somewhere else.

Let me know what you think. Leave a comment below.

The Future is Now . . . Hungry?

Well people, the future doesn’t look so good for us. It hasn’t for a while now actually. At least not according to books, movies, or pretty much any other form of media.

So far this year I’ve read two books that take place in the “not-too-distant” future. These weren’t some geeky space books. They were both bestsellers and made into movies; The Hunger Games & World War Z. I read The Hunger Games at the end of 2012 and finished out the trilogy in January. I just finish reading World War Z last month. Each book had very interesting concepts and unique storytelling traits from the authors. But there seemed to be a common thread between them; People were hungry!

Of course hunger is obviously going to play a role when the book is called The Hunger Games. In World War Z people aren’t wanting food, the people are the food. I’m not sure why our society always anticipates a post-apocalyptic future but we do. The only future-tense book I can think of where countries are still intact is The Time Traveler’s Wife and I didn’t read that book. I only watched the movie (see Books for Guys Who Like Movies for more). Maybe it’s because we’re all cynics. Maybe it’s because we are all created with the knowledge that something in the future will occur and it probably won’t turn out great for most of the world (i.e. The Book of Revelations). Regardless of the reasons, we think the outlook might not be rosy.

So because of this, I’ve created three tips for survival based on these books. Here they are:

1. Find Good Names-The number one tip for survival rests in whatever the main character does and the best way to find him or her is check out the names. Herberts, Bobs, and Theodores probably aren’t going to make it. Follow the main character and you have a good chance. Worst-case scenario you die at the end of the book, which is at least better than the beginning.
2. Avoid Unknown Nouns-Zaks, Lobos, Walkers, Biters, Tracker Jackers, Muts, Arenas, and Gamemakers. None of these are good things. If you are stuck somewhere with people throwing around a bunch of words you’ve never heard of, just assume they are bad.
3. Watch the Numbers-Keep your eyes on the numbers. Big crowds moving in one direction is not a good sign, especially when they are headed towards you. Also, a made-up statistic by me says that about one in every three people die in post-apocalyptic books. So if you are “hoofing” it with two people named something like Katlip Everclean or Brock Johnson, get out of there. Forget tip #1 and leave them behind. Run away and consider changing your name to something cool.  

I hope these tips are helpful. Maybe we won’t have to use them. According to everything we see and hear the future looks bleak – and hungry. So when you leave your house, be sure to pack a sandwich.

A Few Thoughts

Today I am happy to announce that I have added another item to Amazon. It is called A Few Thoughts: A Collection of Quotes. And even more exciting you can get the book for FREE today through June 23.

I have been working on this project for quite a while now and am glad it is finally completed. I began working on this solely as a free gift for email subscribers. To thank them for their support I wanted to give something that I know I would enjoy. I decided a quote collection would be a book I would read.

For the nearly ten years I have collected quotes in a notebook. I decided to scour through those quotes and pick out my favorites. I picked words from figures of all genre such as U. S. Presidents, pop-culture icons, singers, actors and classic authors. I organized them into ten unique categories:

• Courage
• Faith
• Good Habits
• Happiness
• Inspiration
• Leadership
• Love
• Reading
• Relationships
• Sadness

I hope you enjoy reading the quotes I have selected for this book as much as I have. Don’t worry if you miss the deadline and can’t get a free copy from Amazon. It will still be available for FREE in PDF form for email subscribers. They also receive a free copy of Ticket for Two: A Short Story and free  smartphone wallpapers with their subscription. And so, I think there is no better way to end this post than the following . . . .

“It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read a book of quotations.” -Winston Churchill

Now Available on Amazon

What Twitter Won’t Tell You

Let me start by saying this isn’t an attack on Twitter. Twitter is a great outlet for news and entertainment and connects millions of people in a way we’ve never seen before. But as Twitter continues to grow, more things will be left in its wake. To me that consists of noteworthy advice, words of encouragement, thoughts on integrity – namely, quotes.

I like quotes and I use them often. I’ve mentioned quotes several times on this blog. I show quotes from books I’ve read and apply them to certain topics in a series called Novel Wisdom. I show quotes from some of my favorite characters in a series called Five From. I also use them during posts to drive certain points further.

A quote is what a tweet wishes it could be. Quotes can change attitudes, tweets just express them. Quotes have meaning, status updates are, for the most part, meaningless. Quotes are traced back through historical timelines. Tweets will remain dots on a news feed.

So what Twitter won’t tell you is that in a world where everyone can be heard, don’t take your access to something as certification that it is important. Recognize that quotes are something said that will change people’s lives, while tweets just document them. Twitter won’t tell you that a celebrity’s inner-thoughts about grocery shopping or a public apology for acting like an idiot is not quoteworthy and it’s barely news. Twitter won’t tell you that quotes are still being made.

Quotes aren’t a nonrenewable resource that can only be found in historical speeches or classic literature. They continue to be found in books and articles. Read some of the blogs on WordPress, or books on the best-sellers lists, or check out Amazon Kindle Highlights. Meaningful quotes are still out there. You just have to do a little more than scrolling to find them.

It is for this reason I’ll soon be releasing my next book, A Few Thoughts: A Collection of Quotes. Subscribe to the blog to be the first to know when it becomes available. 

Of Moose and Men

Father’s Day is tomorrow. So, of course, I thought of this moose. 

The strangest things can cause reflection and stranger are the things that come from it. When I saw the date on the calendar, I thought about this time last year, my First Father’s Day, and things that have changed. But being a reader, I thought of Atticus Finch as well. To Kill a Mockingbird will always be one of my favorite books and Atticus is one of the main reasons.

Apart from having one of the best names of any literary character, he is such an iconic figure of men and fatherhood. His character was able to embody integrity and a caring father while still rebelling against the standard school of thought that most men of his time held. His traits will always make him one of my favorite characters and one I won’t forget.

Here’s where the moose comes in.

In college I lived with a group of fraternity brothers and somehow we became the owners of a wooden moose. We put him on the mantle and dressed him up for holidays and took pictures with him. He became a mascot of sorts for our apartment. And for reasons that have escaped me now, we decided to name him Atticus. So for me the image of this moose is as synonymous with the name Atticus as Gregory Peck.

Father’s Day = Atticus Finch = Atticus the Moose

As I thought of the moose and the time he lived with me I thought about how things have changed. Most of the guys I lived with are all adults and many have children of their own. I’ve got two little boys that I now roughhouse with and we dress them up for holidays too (for Halloween one was a monkey & the other a banana). My time with mantle mascots has passed. Now I live life still trying to make the transition of hanging out with a moose to raising little men. My life of moose and men.

Me and mine

Happy Father’s Day to my own father and any dad who reads this.

 

“I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It’s when you know you’re licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do.” – Atticus Finch

What does Father’s Day make you think of? Leave a comment below.

Five Words From Winston

Custom smartphone wallpapers from gtylermills.com

If you’ve seen this quote before, you were lied to. Albeit popular, it isn’t true. These may be Winston Churchill’s most famous words, but they were never spoken by him. Although it’s attributed to him on stickers and bookmarks, most historians say he never said it. In a way, he didn’t have to say this. Who else could have used five words and it be considered a historical event? How could the smallest, most normal sentence go down in world history? Because of who it came from. Churchill is regarded as one of the greatest wartime leaders in world history. He stood up against an unforeseen evil and refused to consider failure. It was his courage alone that compelled a country to fight for it’s beliefs. He was also an artist, an author, and the first Honorary Citizen of the United States. 

To me a quote has always been measured by not only what it says, but also who said it. Quotes are meant to carry connotation, to carry weight. They are meant to say more than just the words that are read. And they speak louder when they come from someone with a voice behind it. Whether it’s someone of unshakably integrity or someone whose sheer will changed the world. The person who spoke it means as much, if not more, than what is said. Actions speak louder than words and quoting someone is the epitome of this. Even though it’s the words that live on in quotes, it’s the person who gave them life that’s everlasting.

So whether or not Winston truly uttered these words is a moot point. We will all go on assuming he did, because no one else could have said it better.

If you liked this post, subscribe to learn how you can get a free smartphone wallpapers or a free copy of my next project when it’s released soon.  

How to Look Like a Jerk

Some guys try hard to look like a jerk. For some people it just comes natural. This is usually the case for most guys. Especially guys who use tanning beds, talk loud on their phones in public, who wear tank tops, or basically do anything else you’ve seen done on the Jersey Shore.

But for some, you have to work at it. And so for those few, I’d thought I’d take a moment and show you how to do it.

• Step One-Find a congested parking lot. Trying going to a local WalMart, Publix, or Target. These are stores people have to use frequently so you know the parking lots will be full.
• Step Two-Find two adjacent parking spots that are vacant. Really look for good two spaces. You want to try to get two that are closest to the store as possible. If you can find two right behind the disabled parking, you’ve struck gold!
• Step Three-Once you’ve found the preferred parking, drive right on up and park on the line. Don’t be bashful. You’re making a statement with this one. By parking your precious vehicle here you are telling the world, “I’m way better than you. I am so amazing that my awesomeness cannot be contained to standard parking.”

And that’s how it’s done. Don’t worry about waiting long to see results on this one. You should expect to see some “additions” to your vehicle probably by the time you return. That could be a simple note left on your windshield letting you know how much a random person admires you or a few new pinstripes. Then sit back and relish in the fact that yes, you look like a jerk.

Who’s that person you know who insists on double parking? Leave a comment below.

How It Started

I’ve read for a long time and it’s a topic I discuss on here frequently. One of things I’ve not mentioned is how it began. I’m not talking about the books you read when you are little kid. Everyone likes to read when you are a kid because it’s something new. Eventually you find out that you have to read all the time and like walking or running, it loses its zeal. And like everyone else, I was forced to read books in school but they aren’t books I picked out myself.

Those books didn’t have that thing that causes a book to jump off the shelf and open in your hands automatically. That thing that makes you read halfway through with the first page as soon as you have it in your hands. For me, that came with the books above.

I first read Albert Camus’s The Stranger out of curiosity. I had no idea what the book was about just by reading the title. Combine that with a catchy cover and I was reading the first page in minutes. To this day it’s still one of my favorites covers, as seen here. The story of a man who’s utter indifference to the things around him was unsettling but made for a great novel.

I first read Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451 as an assignment and therefore didn’t want to read it at all. But after learning the plot and that the protagonist had one of the cool’s names you could think of, (Guy Montag) I really got into the story. A book about burning books was totally new to me. This was one of the first times I every really understood the importance reading and its affects on society.

So it’s with these that I first decided I liked reading. They caused me to turn off the TV and open a book. Many readers can relate to this feeling. That’s actually the reason Amazon’s first e-book reader was named Kindle. It was meant as a metaphor. Kindle means to set alight or start to burn, to arouse or be aroused, to make or become bright. And this is where it started for me.

What book(s) cause you to start reading? Are they still your favorites today?

From Sun to Shade

I like to run. Not anything crazy. Just a few miles about two to three times a week. The only thing about running is, it sucks.

It’s usually hot. If you’re like me, you’re drenched in sweat. It pours in your eyes and burns. I usually wear glasses but I don’t when I run so it makes it especially fun. Every yard sign or fire hydrant looks like a dog waiting to chase me just when I know I couldn’t run any faster for very long. Then afterwards you are exhausted. Your face is red for the entire drive home and you are ready to just take a shower and go to bed. Running sucks.

But one of the things that does keep me going when I run is right when I’m out in the middle of the sunny spot, I know there will be shade up ahead. So I keep running until I finally reached that shaded spot where the heat from the sun lightens up just a bit.

And I say just a bit for a reason. You see, even when you are in the shade, it can still suck. You’re still hot. You’re still covered with eye-burning beads of sweat waiting to roll down your forehead. You’re still running.

#Metaphor

Sometimes things suck. Sometimes they don’t work out. Sometimes it’s only after you have ran all over the grocery store and are standing in the checkout line that you realize you forgot the milk.

But it’s through these times that we realize when we have it good. Sure the time in the shade isn’t as good as you had expected, but it’s better than in the sun.  We may not have it great, but we know we have it good. If you don’t think so, just read this. People are way worse off. If you are reading this, know you probably have more right now than these people will in their lifetime. So however it is now, remember you’ve probably seen worse. If you haven’t, know other people have and still do. And remember that it isn’t supposed to great in the shade, it’s just supposed to be better.

 For this world is not our home; we are looking forward to our city in heaven, which is yet to come. -Hebrews 13:14