College Football Questions: Week One

I have a new look for the College Football Questions. And don’t worry Vandy fans, it’s approved!

It’s the first week of college football and fans are gathering together by the masses. They’ll be counting down the minutes until the first kickoff where they can yell some weird combination of words in unison with thousands of their closest friends. In honor of these muddled mantras we’ll take a look at some of the most popular chants, yells, and mottos in college football. To lay some ground rules though, I’m going to disqualify any team that just has “Go” in front of their name. We can be more original than that folks. Sorry Tennessee, Georgia, South Carolina, Virginia Tech, Michigan, Kentucky, and pretty much any other school with zero imagination. So here we go:

via collegeflagsandbanners.com

Roll Tide – Let’s start with the best. It’s original, fun to say, and you can’t get it out of your mouth with just one “I” in tide. This one is only topped by “Rammer Jammer.”

via amazon.com

Boomer Sooner– This is a big drop off. Sure it rhymes but still sounds pretty stupid. You don’t put a word in front of your team just because it sounds the same. #Fail.

via carid.com

War Eagle-If I was an Auburn fan, I’d probably like this too. The same way if I’m a Florida State fan I make excuses about the cost of crab legs. When you’re blinded by love it’s hard to see the things everyone else knows. If you’re going to have a war eagle surely we could come up with something that looks like a bald eagle flying with a bazooka. Even with all the history stories surrounding it, this one is still pretty weird.

via carid.com

Geaux Tigers– You can’t see it or say without smelling corn dogs. It’s a combination of words that tell everyone around that this guy’s had one to many and is starting to get a little rowdy. Which is a common occurrence with most LSU fans….

via amazon.com

Anchor Down-I’ll give this one credit. It sounds pretty cool. It’s better than most. But it reminds me of the guy who spends all his time making sure his jersey and arm/head bands looks nice but pretty much sucks. At some point you have to back it up on the field.

via shopify.com

Gig ‘Em Aggies– You just feel dumb with you say it. There’s really nothing else to it.

via coxnewsweb.com

Hook ‘Em Horns-A goofy saying accompanied by an even more goofy hand thingy. I can see why more people in that state are doing more “giggin'” and less “hookin’.”

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 Pig Sooie-As the old adage goes, if you are a lady looking for a man in Arkansas, you’ll have to decide if you’ll want one with a job or a full set of teeth, because you won’t find both. Calling pigs doesn’t do much help.

via constantcontact.com

Sparty On-Original and fun to say. One of the best.

 

via shopify.com

Rock Chalk Jayhawk-These fans should probably just keep this cheer quiet until March Madness begins.

via plateshack.com

Bear Down-It might not have anything to do with the mascot or the name of the school, but it’s a great story. This one is a winner.

As always let’s enjoy the game and be glad we’re watching where none of the players or coaches can hear us. 

College Football is Here!

College Football finally kicks off and it couldn’t come any sooner. We’ve had a long off-season with playoff speculations, player distractions, and crab legs knocking off dolphin-free tuna as the most talked about seafood cuisine. In honor of the return of our beloved game, here’s a look back at some college football articles posted here from the past.

Verses in Manhood: For the SEC

 

CFB Questions: Conference Champs

CFB Questions: SEC Championship Infographic

CFB Questions: Week Three

 

Be sure to follow along all season with CFB Questions

Wednesday’s Words: London

This is a series where I’ll post a few of my favorite lines from books.

I think a lot of readers think short stories are kind of a cop out. They feel it’s easier to write short stories than an entire book. I’ve never agreed with that. Mostly due to the fact that the longest books I’ve read have always felt bloated. But short stories have to be concise and descriptive while still making you invest in the characters. It’s not easy to do and no one does it better than Jack London. Pick up a few copies of his short stories on Amazon and you’ll agree he’s is one of the best. Here’s To Build a Fire for $0.99 or this free collection of his stories.

Don’t be afraid to read short stories. It’s how we live our lives. A collection of short stories is how we keep our memories and carry moments with us around in the back of our minds.

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How to be an Introvert

 

Yeah, those are my fingers

I’m not shy. I don’t have problems meeting new people. I don’t have problems leaving my house. Well that’s not actually true as I am kind of a homebody. But that’s what being an introvert is all about.

For people who are unfamiliar it simply means that you gain your own social energy by spending time alone. It doesn’t mean you don’t like to talk to people or spend time with friends and family. It means you just can’t do it all the time and would prefer to spend some time alone.

But introverts get a bad wrap. Just because  you crave some down time doesn’t make you a hermit. Hermit crabs are introverts and everyone loves them. They put them in their children’s rooms or set them on the back of the toilet. That’s not the case with introverts. And what’s worse is that even the internet hates you.

Run through a quick Google search and all you’ll find for introverts is ways to fix it. You’ll be hit with articles like Tips on Making Friends for Introverts, How to Speak in Public if You’re an Introvert, or How You Can Stop Being a Loser and Just Go Places With People and Not Feel Bothered About It.

(I made that last one up but I’m sure it’s out there somewhere.)

After seeing all this I decided I’d make a post for introverts. Not on how they can fix it, but how they can actually BE introverts and still live normal lives. Here’s a few tips:

• Learn to Lie Convincingly – You’re going to have to come up with something at some point when you’re invited somewhere and have no legitimate reason to not go, other than the fact that you don’t want to go. Learning to lie convincingly is key. Here’s an example:

“Hey we are going to the game tonight! You wanna come? We’re probably all going to eat afterwards. We thought we’d try that place about two hours away. That way we’ll get back probably around 2:00 Tuesday morning. You should come.”

“Wow that sounds really fun. I would but I think my appendix just ruptured. Maybe next time though. Thanks for the invite though!”

See what I did there. You can do it too.

• Get a Dog – Apparently everyone only has one appendix so your next step is to get a dog. No one will make you feel bad when you say you have to go home and let your dog out. Just work on a quick exit because soon they’ll start asking you all kinds of questions about a dog you got just to avoid people.
• Get a Baby – Babies are perfect for introverts. Not only do they provide the perfect excuse for avoiding occasions but they also act as an attention lightning-rod. As soon as you walk into a room people will suddenly greet your baby and carry on full conversations with them without even acknowledging your presence.

“Hey there baby! How are you? Oh my goodness. I love your hair. What’s that on your shirt? Is that a truck? Do you like trucks? How old are you? Oh that’s so cute….”

You won’t have to say a thing for at least half an hour. Soon they’ll start to ask you questions. That’s when you’ll have to say something about a dog needing to be let out or that your appendix just ruptured.

• Develop Halitosis – Simply the quickest way to ensure no one will ever bother you.
• Marry an extrovert – So all these tips are great, but eventually you will need to go out into the world and do something new. You’ll have to meet people and you’ll have to have a few awkward moments. Being with your best friend is the easiest way to overcome these situations. My wife is the world’s most annoying greatest extrovert. She makes friends everywhere and actually remembers their names. She encourages me to go different places and experience things I probably never would. And it turns out I actually have fun…most of the time.

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Mid-Week Review: Steal Like an Artist

This post is from a series where I review products during the week

The title totally caught my attention with this one.

I stumbled across this book while trying to find something about honing your own creativity. In case you didn’t know, there’s pretty much a ton of books about that on Amazon. The only problem was that most of them looked like required reading for college courses. I remember thinking how funny it was that books about creativity didn’t look very creative, then I found Steal Like an Artist by Austin Kleon.

The cover was simple but unique. It looked very interesting so I gave it a shot. I’m glad I did.

The author, Austin Kleon, developed this book out of a speech he gave for college students. It tackles ten bits of advice he wished someone would have given him as a young artist. It’s full of simple but significant advice such as “Fake It ‘Til You Make It” or “Write the Book You Want to Read.” For someone interested in beginning to grow their own creativity, these simple breakdowns are perfect.

As I said before, there are a ton of books about creativity. They all seem to be full of plans or exercises to bring out your inner “van Gogh” while showing you ways to keep both your ears. That’s where this book is different.

People just assume that creativity is something inherent. We say things like, “Oh she’s just so creative” in the same way we say, “That guy has huge feet!” We say it like it’s something that just happens – you’re either born with it or you’re not. This book shows you that that’s not the case. Some of the greatest artists were people that fed their own creativity by appreciating what had been done by others. Then Kleon goes on to discuss how you can do the same. He shows how he found his own creativity and how it’s a continued process to make sure he’s constantly growing. He shares amazing quotes of others while offering his own first-hand advice. The combination is something that will have you highlighting as much as he uses his markers. (I know that sounds kind of weird, but after you’ve read the book it will totally make sense.)

Here’s some of my favorite quotes from the book:

“When people call something ‘original,’ nine times out of ten they just don’t know the references or the original sources.” -Jonathan Lethem

 

“You are, in fact, a mashup of what you choose to let into your life. You are the sum of your influences.” -Austin Kleon

 

“Those who do not want to imitate anything, produce nothing.” -Salvador Dali

 

“It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique.” -Conan O’Brien

 

“The trick is to find a day job that pays decently, doesn’t make the vomit, and leaves you with enough energy to make things in your spare time.” -Austin Kleon

And my favorite . . .

“Draw the art you want to see, start the business you want to run, play the music you want to hear, write the books you want to read, build the products you want to use-do the work you want to see done.” -Austin Kleon

Pick up a copy here in eBook or paperback.

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Verses in Manhood: For the SEC

If Jack Bauer wrote poetry, it would be here | Verses in Manhood

Today marks the launch of the SEC Network. In honor of the new addition to the channel lineup of every college football fan here in the South, I decided this edition of Verses in Manhood would offer something a little different.

Sure there are ton of poems out there about the South. Most about the scenery or the civil war or slavery or just how hot it can get. There was even this one by Cam Newton, but you can bet I wasn’t about to pick it (Roll Tide). After reading through several different poems I found one I thought was especially fitting for the SEC and it was all because of one simple stanza it held. It needed a little work but I think it turned out nicely.

The entire poem can be read below and it has become one of my favorites.

“Land of the South” by Alexander Beaufort Meek

I

LAND of the South! – imperial land! –
How proud thy mountains rise!
How sweet thy scenes on every hand!
How fair thy covering skies!
But not for this – oh, not for these
I love thy fields to roam;
Thou hast a dearer spell to me,
Thou art my native home!

II
Thy rivers roll their liquid wealth,
Unequaled to the sea;
Thy hills and valleys bloom with health,
And green with verdure be!
But not for thy proud ocean streams,
Not for thy azure dome,
Sweet, sunny South, I cling to thee,
Thou art my native home!

III
I’ve stood beneath Italia’s clime,
Beloved of tale and song,
On Helvyn’s hills, proud and sublime,
Where nature’s wonders throng;
By Tempe’s classic sunlit streams,
Where Gods, of old, did roam, –
But ne’er have found so fair a land
As thou, my native home!

IV
And thou hast prouder glories, too,
Than nature ever gave;
Peace sheds o’er thee her genial dew,
And Freedom’s pinions wave;
Fair Science flings her pearls around,
Religion lifts her dome,
These, these endear thee to my heart,
My own, loved native home!

V
And “Heaven’s best gift to man” is thine –
God bless thy rosy girls!
Like sylvan flowers they sweetly shine,
Their hearts are pure as pearls!
And grace and goodness circle them,
Where’er their footsteps roam;
How can I then, whilst loving them,
Not love my native home?

VI
Land of the South! – imperial land! –
Then here ‘s a health to thee:
Long as thy mountain barriers stand,
May’st thou be blest and free!
May dark dissension’s banner ne’er
Wave o’er thy fertile loam!
But should it come, there’s one will die
To save his native home!

Team logos from Sportslogos.net.

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What I Found When I Cut the Grass

Lawn care, Entropy, Robin Thicke, and Faith

I like cutting my grass. Most people do. I’m too cheap for a riding lawn mower so I push mow my yard. It usually takes an hour or two to cut the whole yard. It would probably take a little less time if I bought a bigger push mower, but as I said before, I’m pretty cheap. I live in the South where the summers are brutal so when I cut the grass I usually end up sweating so much you can see it through my jeans . . . seriously, through denim. I’m not talking something like tight skinny jeans, but a baggy pair of Wranglers that were hand-me-downs from my brother-in-law. Sometimes when I cut my backyard I’ll take my shirt off. My backyard is fenced in so I think it’s not a big deal. And I ask my wife if it’s okay so she won’t be ashamed of the redneck she’s married.

When all the work is finished you get a total sense of accomplishment. Where once sat the patchwork of the endless competition of weeds and grass chutes now has been replaced by rows of green carpet. And in admiring my job well done it makes me think why I even like my grass to be cut?

I mean obviously the yard looks nicer when it’s mowed, but why? Why do I have this desire to make nature conform to what I think it should look like. No where else in my world do I see that grass naturally grows in unison at the same length and yet here I am spending hours each month to make my little patch of earth do just that. Why?

It suddenly made me think of a quote I’ve read several times,

“A man does not call a line crooked unless he has some idea of a straight line.” – C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity 

Then there’s this thing called entropy. It’s the measurement of the disorder in a system of energy. It’s a scientific term used in anything from communication theory to thermodynamics. They best way I’ve heard it described is that it’s the rate at which anything has a propensity to return to a nature state of disorder. Our world is in a state now that it wants to return to a state of disorder, so much so, that we actually have to calculate how quickly it wants to get there.

And yet here we are, despite living in a world where were rarely, if ever, come into contact with naturally occurring uniform conformity, we have a desire to make the things all around us neat and tidy. Sure you can argue there are other, more practical reasons to perform upkeep and maintenance but I know I get actual pleasure of seeing my grass cut that I don’t have when I get my oil changed. It’s not the same.

I believe we were created with the concept of straight lines. Even if we don’t see them popping up everywhere around us, we like to make them ourselves. Grass grows in every way it wants. Tigers and zebras have stripes instead of bars. And we still want things in straight lines, because we like them. (This may also be the reason hate Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines video and I think we can all agree that that guy is pretty much a tool.)

So after I cut my grass and am able to watch my kids play around on my lawn I found that I like the way it looks, not just because it’s crisp and clean, but the fact that I like things looking crisp and clean is an indication that I was created with the idea already in mind. That this innate idea of perfection I have is proof I was created with the intent of living in a place of perfection and even though I don’t see it around me now, that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be there.

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