College Football Questions: Week Four

We all knew this week would be different than the previous ones this season, but we didn’t know it would be like this. Expletives belong on the practice field and in the stands, but no one told that to the Heisman winner. We only have a few questions this week so let’s get started.

• The largest question on everyone’s mind has already been answered. Yes, the table claimed it was consensual…
• What do you get when you get accused of sexual assault?

The Heisman

• What do you get when you steal seafood?

Three Game Vacation

• What do you get when you shout obscenities on campus?

A fashionably-late entrance to one of the biggest games of the season

• What do we get? Confirmation that this guy is a punk.
• Why is an Alabama player missing the first half of his game? Because he accidentally bumped heads with a Southern Miss player. This after serving a suspension from the last half of that game as well.
• Coach Nick goes against his one-time assistant, Will Muschamp this weekend and that got me thinking. Who all has coached under ol’ Saint Nick? Here’s a look at some of the most notable coaching Nick’s done.

 

Now let’s enjoy the games and be glad we are watching where none of the players and coaches can hear us. 

College Football Questions: Inside the 50

As of today we are 46 days away from the first kickoff of the college football season. SEC Media Days start next week. Then some other conferences will have something similar, just with less people and no real interest. Last year I spent the season asking a few questions about the game we all enjoy. Now the 2013 season approaches but before it gets in full swing, let’s check out a few questions from the off-season.

• Will this year’s Heisman House commercial feature a bathroom full of tissue for Johnny Football?
• Who would have thought someone who looks like this would provide one of the most controversial stories in the offseason?
  

  Gordon Gee

• Has there been a single story from the Big 12 that doesn’t involve Bob Stoops? SEC insults, burglarized home, juvenile jailbreaks, disaster volunteer, and an actual article about him now not making news.
• Have we seen an omen that FSU will be joining the SEC?
• Will the rest of the country be able to handle Nick Saban for another “60 Minutes”? How about another book? 
• Have we now realized that College Football Trivia is the “Achilles Heel” of Jeopardy! contestants?
• Have you picked out your dream home? Here’s a few for you: Alabama fans, Tennessee fans, & Wisconsin fans (I guess they have some).
• I wonder if Coach Charlie Weis offered up any inspiration for Kansas’s new helmets?
  

  “You think we can sprinkle in a few different colors this year?”

• Speaking of coaches and headgear, have the Vols found a new hairdo?
  

  Derek Dooley hair vs the Butch Jones Flat top

• Will this be the best hit we see all year? Landon Collins v Sideline Spectator
  
• Are SEC coaches becoming more photogenic?
  

  Les Miles and Nick Saban both strike a pose (awkwardly)

• Did the College Football Playoff’s official logo win because we see it everyday…on our phones?
• Will this remain the best touchdown of the season? If you haven’t seen it yet, watch it now! 7-year-old Cancer Patient Runs for TD

Well that’s all the question I have for now. Check back during the season for more or subscribe to the blog so you won’t miss anything.

College Football Questions: Week Nine

Well the season is already on its downward angle. The BCS computers are warmed up and cranking out numbers. Analysts are throwing out scenarios more useless than presidential debates. Here’s a few questions.

• Am I the only one who realized what happened to the little kid from “A League of Their Own?”
  

  “You’re gonna lose, you’re gonna lose”

• Are there any dumb questions?
• I’ll ask again, why is Lou Holtz on ESPN? Anyone with that much bias belongs on MSNBC?
• Who will win the ineligiBOWL between Penn State and Ohio State?
• Was anyone keeping an eye on the butt-chuggers in Knoxville after last Saturday’s game? Let’s hope they don’t drink when they’re depressed.
• Does anyone know how housing market is doing? More specifically in Knoxville and Auburn? Two nice houses may be listed soon.
• Can someone tell me why this guy was not laid out on the field?
• Why have we not heard anything from John L. Smith in a while?
• Who’s still holding a grudge? Looks like Mississippi, Louisiana, Florida and even Texas.
  

  Bitter Much?

• I thought Les pulled plays out of his hat?
  

  The Mad Hatter

• Will Oklahoma ever have as many fans as they will this Saturday? 

Let’s enjoy the games and be glad we are sitting where no players or coaches can hear us.

College Football Questions: Week Seven

I’ve taken a few weeks off from the College Football Questions, but I haven’t missed a game.  And now, here we are, halfway through the regular season and I’ve still got questions.

• Did you feel that? Geno Smith just scored again.
• Does anyone else think Dana Holgerson looks like the guy from Silence of the Lambs?
  

  “It puts the lotion on it’s skin”

• Is this a successful college football family or names from the Jersey Shore?
  

  Sal, Tito, & Vinnie Sunseri

• We all know the lasting legacy Dr. Lou left the Fighting Irish, but who knew he’d make an appearance on the helmets?
  

  Notre Dame Helmets – The Lou Holtz Edition

• Can a hot seat break a hip? Someone better tell Chiz to have icepacks ready.
• Who knew the only thing that could keep Oregon from scoring another touchdown was a bye week?
• Is there anything better that watching a coach celebrate his first signature win? Wait for the one minute mark. It’s priceless.
• Does it mean the same thing that both of these teams had three different quarterbacks take snaps against John L. and the hogs?
  

  AJ McCarron, Phillip Ely, Blake Sims & Kiehl Frazier, Clint Moseley, Jonathan Wallace

  Let’s enjoy the games and be glad we are sitting where no players or coaches can hear us.

College Football Questions: Week Three

Week three has arrived. Fall seems to be approaching as teams start getting into the meat of their schedule. For Auburn, that’s Louisiana-Monroe. After the weekend of upsets left the hogs roasted and the Big Ten embarrassed, we still have questions to ask.

• Is that burning smell in Arkansas rice fields or John L. Smith’s contract extension?
• Are we starting to see a a trend among QBs?
  

  Tyler Russell and Denard Robinson

• Will Barbara Dooley charge the field with the rest of the fans if Tennessee beats Florida?
• Remember three weeks ago when Thursday night games were worth watching?
• Do you hear that ringing noise? Tyler Wilson does.
  

  Razorback QB Tyler Wilson

• After Forbes, Fortune, and SI, who will be the next magazine to cover Nick Saban?
• Has anyone else noticed Will Muschamp may not be a good fit for Florida?
  

  Shouldn’t those be jorts?

• Do you know the power of prayer? Savannah State players do. 
• Does Milton Browning sounds like he should be describing the path of the tornado? (wait until 2:58 and you’ll see what I mean) 

I said it in week one and I’ll say it again, let’s enjoy the games and be glad we are sitting where no players or coaches can hear us.